إنجليزي

Shaking hands with men

cisnopost: ghaya beirouk

Many of you reading this article have probably encountered that awkward social norm of shaking hands with men, especially if you’re studying or working
Most Muslim girls know about the dreaded moment a male puts his hand out to shake yours. You can usually hear the jaws soundtrack playing in your head , whilst unwanted fingers are outstretching towards you in slow motion. And then there’s that horrifyingly awkward moment when they leave their hand suspended in the air, as you try to find the words to explain why you can’t touch them

As a Hijabi girl, this was (and still is!) one of the most tricky situations that I would encounter I had no idea how to deal with

But before i go on and give you some tips on how to handle the situation, i want to speak to those of you who may be reading this and thinking that a handshake isn’t a big deal
The prophet (PBUH) said: “for one of you to be stabbed in the head with an iron needle is better for him than that he should touch a woman who is not permissible for him”
So we see the prophet (SAW) took this matter of non-mahrams (those they aren’t related or married to)touching each other very seriously. Thus ,many girls agree they will not extend the hand outward to a male who is not their Mahram . But what about when a guy extends a hand out to you

Humour can be used sometimes ! In all situations, I would recommend honesty; just say, “I”m sorry, I can’t shake hands with the opposite gender.” You can word it however you like, and in whichever way you feel comfortable. It’s simple and straightforward and honest

But it’s also quite bold. Some of you (myself included) might have difficulty saying this, especially as you meet someone for the first time. You might be nervous , and you might not be able to word it correctly, and so instead of fumbling with the words, you just do it. You shake the hand that’s extended to you

I’m going to be honest here: I ve done it. And I feel awful about it. My mind would be totally consumed by this worry ,I don’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings. So when my mind starts racing in those 2.5 seconds after a man extends his hand to me, the only thing I do is put my hand out too in a panic. And I feel so guilty about it afterwards
i experienced all of this and more until suddenly i realized all of these emotions i’d created and built up were absolutely unnecessary and one hundred percent extreme. It didn’t have to be this hard. If i don’t want to make physical contact with another person, for whatever reason, i don’t have to. It is a decision other people have to learn to deal with ,I found it stupid that i seemed to care more for these people’s feelings than i did about obeying Allah (SWT)

The reason why I’m sharing my personal story with you all is to say that I relate. I get it. I totally understand the pressures of not knowing how to deal with that kind of situations, and wanting to please people and also be true to your own beliefs…It’s just hard
No one is perfect and we all make mistakes, some of them repeatedly. So let’s try to have the best of intentions and strive to be the best

Hope you found this useful

With love

فريق العمل

فريق العمل

طاقم عمل سيسنو بوست، هو طاقم من المحررين، الكتاب، المراسلين والصحفيين من مختلف المناطق الجغرافية، ليقدموا مزيجاً فريداً من التقارير والأخبار والمقالات ومنصة تدوينية للجمهور في المنطقة للتعبير عن أفكارهم وآرائهم.

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